The longest training run is OVER!

I am so relieved and proud of myself. I finished my 20 mile run on Saturday. It took me just under 4 hours to do and I didn't push myself too hard during it. I had been dreading, loathing and beside myself with fear and stress just thinking about that long run. Most of my issues with it was because my 18 mile run was so horrible. I figured that since my 18 mile was so hard that this would be near impossible. But it really wasn't. I found myself reading blogs and running articles that all said the same thing. The said, go slow, don't be afraid to walk through water stations and be proud of yourself and the training you have done so far. I took their wisdom to heart and I think it made a lot of difference. I also made sure not to run faster then I normally would run since that is what caused a lot of my grief during the 18 miler. I was even able to use the extra energy that I had at the end of my run to sprint home about half a mile. During the 18 mile run, I don't think I could have given any more at the end. As soon as I walked through the door I stretched and jumped into an icy cold tub. My legs and ankles loved me for this. My feet had not hurt during the run which I still think is amazing in itself since that is the one thing that has been constant for the past two months. I made sure to eat my Cliff Bloks and GU during my run. I also appreciate that a few local running organizations offered cups of Gatorade Endurance around my 6 mile mark, 9 mile mark, 11 mile mark and 14 mile mark. I stopped at two of them to rehydrate but I carry my own of G2 which isn't as heavy on the syrup and sugar. I really do not like Gatorade and found that I really run well and stay hydrated with G2. It isn't made to be used during high activity but I figured that it seems to work well with me and I will stick with it. Especially on race day. I will bring my G2 but I will use the Gatorade that they offer along the route during race day. I am looking forward to the race and that is a big difference from a week ago.

I am sure that many of my family and friends think I am utterly insane for even doing this. I think I am. But heck, how frustrating is it to set a goal (especially at New Years Eve) and never achieve it. I wanted to prove to myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to. Achieving a goal isn't easy and this was by far no where near easy. I am very appreciative of my husband for helping me keep my eyes on my goal. He would watch the kids for me on Saturdays so I could do my long runs. Sure, the majority of the time they were all sleeping but I couldn't leave my kids alone to run sleeping or not. He almost always asked me "how was your run" and seemed to encourage me, even when I uttered, "it sucked". Having two kids, working evenings and a husband that works during the day was difficult to train but I did it. I could NOT have done it without help and a strong will to achieve this dream. Many people have told me that they would never be able to this, but I by no means am a runner. I never loved running. There were many things telling me that I should stop and that I was too busy or that this was too hard to do. But, I have learned to respect the run and the journey. I have learned a lot about myself and what I enjoy about running at this point. I love being able to free my mind and think about life. I think about all the good things in life and reflect on my past. I have found a happy medium between what I have always wanted to be and who I am. I am not sure if many people are able to see where they have been and who they are now. The journey is where you learn about yourself. You learn about your shortcomings and your achievements and how they relate to the bigger picture. So far, this training has shown me that I am still able to set my mind to something and do it. "Blah, Blah..." people may think but really this wasn't about anyone but myself and I am happy with my journey and myself, no matter how difficult it has been.

I wanted to lose weight, however, my weight has not fluctuated much, but you can see a difference in my build since May. I am disappointed slightly that my "number" weight hasn't dropped, but I FEEL better about myself. I still have areas that I wish would minimize or tighten up but all in good time. If I can run and train for a marathon, I can learn to exercise regularly and eat better. After the marathon, I may still run. In fact, I wouldn't mind running a half marathon but I will not do another marathon. I will probably still run about 5 miles a few times a week but I will not go running 10+ for the pure zest of it.

OK, enough of this meaningless drivel for you all to absorb. I do appreciate you following along so far. I am going to focus some of my attention on what my next goal will be. I have thought learning another language or getting back into art. I do miss and love drawing. Heck, maybe I should start smaller and pick ONE book and finish it to the end. That can't be too difficult, could it?

Training sucks

Well, I truly hit a wall mentally during my 18 mile run. I was so lucky to run along with Greg as my parents were in town to watch the kids. We ran for 3 hours and 33 minutes for 18.25 miles. Around mile 13, I hit a mental wall and it was horrible. I felt overwhelmed, however, my body felt fine running. The only thing that bothered me up to that point was my right foot on the ball of my foot. It hurt but not bad, but mentally I was done running. I started to get upset with myself and found myself gasping for air. My chest was tight as I was fighting back tears and why? I still have no idea. I think I was beating myself up in my head. I don't think the body is designed to run over 3 hours straight. We had stopped long enough to pee in a port-o-potty and ran all the way until I couldn't breathe. We then walked for about .10 of a mile and got some water and I ran the rest of the way, unless I grabbed a drink from a drinking fountain along the rest of the four miles. It was horrible. I hated it. I tried to stay positive but it was so hard and it was too much for me. I have been trying to keep my nutrition up by making dishes recommended by chef's and nutritionists that run marathons. I am really going to need to find someone to help me mentally along the way. I read other blogs where people run with others who help them along the way. I have been training and running by myself for myself. I have been lucky to have Greg run with me three times so far but that is coming to an end as the race nears. A friend of ours that ran the marathon a couple of years ago was shocked to hear that I was running by myself because it is so mentally challenging. She said she could not have ran the marathon if it wasn't for her friends that trained and ran all the way with her. When I asked Greg what his goal was for this race and he uttered out a time to finish in. I told him that what I wanted to do is finish. At this rate, I will be running it, walking it, crawling it, crying it and crossing the line in hopefully 6 hours, as that is the allotted time to finish it.

I am going to run to Fleet Feet soon to pick up some more chews and drink for tomorrows 14 mile long run. Next Saturday will be my 20 miler. God give me strength. I need it....

A week in review

So things have been going well lately. I hit the wall and it sucked. I have since started to watch my protein and carb intake which is starting to help me out mentally and physically. I ran 4 miles on Tuesday and felt great and ran it in 38 minutes. That is much faster then my normal pace. On Wednesday I ran 9 miles in 1 hour and 35 minutes and felt much better the last half of the run then in the beginning. I felt tired and felt a pain in my right leg/foot area. But around 5 miles I felt much better with an occasional twinge but a lot of energy. I have been spending time on a running forum called Runnersworld.com . They have a ton of information and blogs for me to read and relate to. The weather has just changed overnight also. It is now in the 60's and feels great except that today it was storming this morning which meant I didn't get to run my 5 miles. I am going to try to go either tomorrow or just miss it all together. I have stuck to my training schedule and this will be my first real miss out on exercise. But I am also looking at it as reserving my energy for my Saturday run which will be 18 miles. It will be a tough day but I am trying to stay positive about it. Slow and steady wins the race right? Well, I just want slow and steady to finish the race under 5 hours. LOL!

It is also an important next two weeks. Besides the 18 miles on Saturday it is Julian's birthday next Wednesday. I can't believe Julian will be 4 years old. It is crazy how fast the time has flown by. And training for this marathon has been a long task but now it feels like it just flew by. The way things felt to drag out in the beginning and speed up toward the end feels just like both of my pregnancies. You feel pregnant forever and then wham the big day slaps you in the face. I have completed 273 miles since June 10th. That is very amazing for me to see. I am starting to feel very proud of my accomplishment so far. I hope that all continues to go well and I can finish the training and race. The race is in 37 days and counting!!!! WOW!