Training sucks

Well, I truly hit a wall mentally during my 18 mile run. I was so lucky to run along with Greg as my parents were in town to watch the kids. We ran for 3 hours and 33 minutes for 18.25 miles. Around mile 13, I hit a mental wall and it was horrible. I felt overwhelmed, however, my body felt fine running. The only thing that bothered me up to that point was my right foot on the ball of my foot. It hurt but not bad, but mentally I was done running. I started to get upset with myself and found myself gasping for air. My chest was tight as I was fighting back tears and why? I still have no idea. I think I was beating myself up in my head. I don't think the body is designed to run over 3 hours straight. We had stopped long enough to pee in a port-o-potty and ran all the way until I couldn't breathe. We then walked for about .10 of a mile and got some water and I ran the rest of the way, unless I grabbed a drink from a drinking fountain along the rest of the four miles. It was horrible. I hated it. I tried to stay positive but it was so hard and it was too much for me. I have been trying to keep my nutrition up by making dishes recommended by chef's and nutritionists that run marathons. I am really going to need to find someone to help me mentally along the way. I read other blogs where people run with others who help them along the way. I have been training and running by myself for myself. I have been lucky to have Greg run with me three times so far but that is coming to an end as the race nears. A friend of ours that ran the marathon a couple of years ago was shocked to hear that I was running by myself because it is so mentally challenging. She said she could not have ran the marathon if it wasn't for her friends that trained and ran all the way with her. When I asked Greg what his goal was for this race and he uttered out a time to finish in. I told him that what I wanted to do is finish. At this rate, I will be running it, walking it, crawling it, crying it and crossing the line in hopefully 6 hours, as that is the allotted time to finish it.

I am going to run to Fleet Feet soon to pick up some more chews and drink for tomorrows 14 mile long run. Next Saturday will be my 20 miler. God give me strength. I need it....